12 Silly Halloween Jokes

Happy Halloween everyone! I hope you have a wonderful time, whether trick-or-treating, dressing up, or partying with your ghoul-friends....(Ok, that first one was lame, wasn't it?)

In honor of the holiday, I've complied my favorite 12 Silly Halloween jokes, and a couple of great Halloween videos. Try not to laugh your head off!

What does a vampire never order at a restaurant? A stake sandwich

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends? They're so wrapped up in themselves

What did the mother ghost say to her children ghost in the car? Fasten your sheet belts

Why don't skeletons go to scary movies? They don't have the guts

What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? Bamboo!

Knock knock! (who's there) Boo! (Boo who?) Gee, you don't have to cry about it!

What should you do if you see a monster on Halloween? Hope that the monster does not see you!

What should you do if your Jack-o-Lantern falls off the front porch? Put on a pumpkin patch!

What kind of candy do Vampires like best? Suckers!

Why does everyone hate Dracula? He has a BAT temper....

What holiday is after Halloween on Dracula's calendar? Fangs-giving

How did the skeleton know it was going to rain? He could feel it in his bones

Enough of the silly Halloween jokes - enjoy this great video of some very creative costumes!



Ten Signs You're Too Old for Halloween:

1. You get winded from knocking on the door
2. You have to have someone chew the candy for you
3. You ask for high fiber candy only.
4. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
5. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not wearing a mask.
6. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and you can't remember the rest.
7. By the end of the night you have a bag full of restraining orders.
8. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hair piece.
9. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
10. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.

I always thought that Disney movies could be a bit too scary for children. Check out this horrific re-cut of the Mary Poppins classic film:




Happy Halloween everyone! Sleep tight....

Homemade Caramel Apples

This afternoon, my kids and a few of their friends got together (with my help) to create and enjoy one of fall's tastiest traditions - homemade caramel apples! These days, it is even easier than ever to candy apples. Just gather the ingredients listed below and set out some plates lined with wax paper and coated with baking spray. (Today, I was in a pinch and used foil instead of wax paper).

Next, gather your cooks together. I've found that ages 6 and up can create especially delicious homemade caramel apples without too much adult assistance! You can help younger children, ages 3-6, with spooning the melted caramel over the apples. Always supervise kids near a stovetop!

• 4-5 firm apples (red delicious, golden delicious or fuji)
• popsicle sticks
• 14 oz. (1 bag) of caramel candies
• decorative candies or nuts (smaller work best.... we like using Halloween cookie sprinkles)

To make your homemade caramel apples, first wash and then dry the apples. Remove any stickers too! Firmly press a single popsicle stick into the top of each apple.

In a medium saucepan, place unwrapped caramel candies and stir in 2 tablespoons of water. Melt slowly over low heat, stirring frequently. If desired, you may want to add 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla extract. Stir well. Test the caramel by allowing it to run off a spoon into the saucepan. You'll be able to determine your desired consistency. Fairly runny caramel will coat the apples better and will solidify when cool later.

One at a time, take an apple and hold it over the saucepan. With young children, you should turn the stove off. Drip caramel over the apple, repeating until its coated. Hold the apple above the saucepan until the caramel stops dripping. Place onto wax paper. Decorate with nuts or candy. We found that rolling the homemade caramel apples in the sprinkles worked best.

Allow the caramel apples to cool and set - about 1-2 hours. Then, enjoy!

If you love the taste of caramel apples, then you must eat them for breakfast! Seriously, caramel apple french toast is a delicious harvest treat. Save it for the lazy weekends - enjoy it all the way through November!

For another take on homemade caramel apples, check out this spooky video with Sandra Lee:


I'd better go - I think the apples are ready for eating now!

Halloween Pumpkins

Its my favorite time of year - fall! The air is crisp and cool, and the trees are turning brilliant colors. Oh... and its almost Halloween! My oldest son's birthday is October 31, so this is an especially fun, celebratory time of year at our house. Probably our favorite activity is carving Halloween pumpkins. Last year, my kids got a book called Extreme Pumpkins. I don't know who comes up with this stuff, but there are images of pumpkins eating bloody stuffed animals, cannibal pumpkins, and headless pumpkin people. It is wildly funny! Last year, one of our Halloween pumpkins was an evil gourd chomping on an innocent bunny rabbit. Don't even ask me how we made the "blood." (corn starch, water and lots of red food coloring)

Being as this is an election year, there are even more frightening options available for your Halloween pumpkins. How about a Sarah Palin jack o'lantern? Right down to the updo and glasses, you can use special stencils to create your own Alaskan masterpiece... or maybe the starting point for your creativity. Even if you can't see Russia from your own doorstep, you can have Governor Palin keeping watch for you. And maybe that is the most frightening thought of all! Happy Halloween - and enjoy carving your own Halloween pumpkins this season.